EH BOY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

i know i'm the last one on your birthday. but they always say, NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
AT LEAST I NEVER FORGET.

have a happy 19th dear. hope we've made it special.

ICE CREAMERY.

so on monday i went to get the poster printed. and halfway through, jane and i got super hungry. i dont know why. but it was a cheese infested day. haha. and i love the seats at the TCC@NAFA.

so i ended up meeting sam last night. and no words can describe as to how much i miss her. words just kept coming out and she kept on going and going. how i miss her.
its funny as to how somethings never change. even after so many years.
its funny as to how we're still so familiar with each other even though we havent seen each other in the longest time.

i love the present she got me. and i'm even wearing it now.
its amazing as to how always gets me the best presents. ((:
i can't wait for sleep overs and everything that we planned for.
babe, dont hesitate to call me when you need to.
i'll always remember your number on the back of my hand.
and how much you love lamas and centre partings. HAHA.


what are we now?
you always leave me so confused.

i hope you can finally wake up from your nightmare. because you see, it hurts my heart to see you like that and i can do nothing about it. there's only so much i can say. but its up to you if you want to listen or not. maybe you're just too blinded to see the truth on front of you.

so i had lunch with dear cousin after her last exam. oh my goodness, life of a uni student. especially a local one. i dare say i'm super proud of her and i miss her alot too. and we had the whole idea of wearing our traditional clothes for christmas. but the thing is, i dont have a Kebaya. which is very upsetting. and she says that im not supposed to be wearing dark colours Kebayas. because its against tradition to wear suck dark colours when im so young. and have any of you have any idea how expensive Kebayas are? and how difficult it is to buy a nice one?

i'm totally lost as to what to wear for christmas. i never had a problem like this before. but now im as broke as shit.

im currently angry at your insensitivity. its not about you not replying me. its more about what you said to me that made me upset. you should just fuck off far away and never come back.

dont get into a relationship if you're not ready. because you're just going to hurt more people.
dont say you love her when you dont even think about her.
dont say you love her when you barely know what it means.
because, if you do, her needs are above yours.
her happiness is above yours.
you'd be more concerned about her.
you knew what you were getting yourself into.

museum hopping.


like you scent, it interwines.

IS HAPPINESS HERE YET?

so fyp, not like it was a great success. but i'm just hoping that some good will come out of this. better grades for instance.

and that text hurt like hell because it was so true. especially from you point of view. how you can see the problem evidently there without knowing whats been happening on the inside. wow. may you're not one to sugarcoat things.

i will never be your stepping stone. i had enough. its so much more than i can take. i can't reason with you. and i cant give up everything i have just to be with you? you can't promise me happiness if i do. i dont want this.
i dont want to miss my friends, they're more important to me than anything else. if i left with you. i'd miss jane. and my loved souls from school. i'd miss my family. i'd miss all the little things even though they're stupid. i'd rather miss you than to miss all of them. becuase the heartache will be lesser. much less.

i'm done.

how much more can you take before you break?

i give up.

ON FAITH AND GASOLINE.

seeing your text today, omg.
sent my heart beating so fast, my smile unwavering.
knowing that you do think about me, is more than i can ever ask for.
God, please let me know its a sign.

i dont believe in people borrowing your things and asking you to go to their house and collect your own stuff. asshole.

i feel better after letting it out now. really.

whats the point?


when i know you wont reply.

WELL, MATTER OF PERCEPTION BITCH!

FOR THE HAIRY ONE.

let me just honestly admit that the past few days have kind of been an emotional overdrive. PMS. something which i dont believe in. because i usually get cramps.
i need to save money for overseas trips. swimming on monday with jane. who's angry with me cause now i want to have the same bag as her now. HAHA.
PASTI SAYS HELLO.

alot of things i want to let out. i'll just keep quiet for now. because, for the sake of my friend. but hey, if my friend openly insults my boyfriend. i know i wont keep quiet. thats why i always ask Shabs to shut up everytime he feels like doing so. because i know that he will do that same to me. HAHA.
and I thank god every single day that i know the art of being discreet. at the right time of course. because i dont everywhere and check out guys/girls and end up humiliating myself. you should see how funny it is everytime he rolls his eyes each time you walk past and OPENLY CHECK HIM OUT.
anyway, i thank god that if i'm too busy for Shabs, he doesn't alienate me because he feels like he needs to teach me a lesson. he just messes up my hair as and when he feels like it. which is about every 4 mins. in public places.

i want to thank Shabs for plenty of things.

1. for being there regardless.
2. for not judging my choice of partners.
3. for knowing to accept me for who i am.
4. for listening me cry over stupid things.
5. FOR LISTENING.
6. for knowing how to dress well even though you look gay sometimes. but smart nonetheless.
   
7. you may be indian, and hairy. at least you wash your hair.
8. for having slippers that match your clothes.
   
9. and thank for for trusting me with my decisions. and not judging when i made the wrong decisions.
   
10. for being honest. even when it hurts. becuase you know it hurts even more when you go behind my back and do that.
    
11. and you're always giving and i know its not nice that i'm always taking but you let me do so anyways.
12. and for the future christmas dress you're going to get me.
13. and chocolate buffets.
    
14. thank you for being there instead of running away each time you find someone new.

you rock loads and i love you. 8 years and counting for this ridiculous friendship. ((:

that was a low blow and you know it. dont use my mistakes and thow it back to my face when all i wanted was the best for him. i'm hurt and disappointed. was it wrong? for me to want him to go to a good school. i dont want him to go down the same part as me. i think he's going to turn out worse now. i dont know what to do. maybe i shouldnt do anything in the first place. or maybe i should have helped to begin with.

a little bit longer, and i'll be fine.

DISTURBIA.

This is one feel good song and something so different from what you usually hear from John Legend I guess. And the fact that it has Andre 3000. Only makes me happier.

I finished chapter 5, and now I just have to wait for Haruna to come back and proof read it for me.

So Monday I went for dinner with 5 other girls at Sakae Sushi. I highly believe in monthly outings. And here are my contributions of pictures from my new camera. HAHA.


Dessert at Canele. With pervertic waiters.






all the yummy desserts.


the leaning tower of sushi plates. haha.


and Audrey should be ashamed that she deleted her facebook la!


we should go baking soon yo!

maybe i wanted too much out of you. and i dont know where to start. but i guess i'll have to start by saying sorry. i'm not going to throw away everything for you. i've removed you from my life now, there's nothing left for you to remind me what a fool i've become.

Alright, reading XX's blog and glancing though her 841 and counting comments. I have to say one thing. Singaporeans are judgmental idiots. Basically idiots. Why? Just look at how everyone is against her and calling her stupid just because she had an opinion and decided to let everyone know. And the best part? Singaporeans decided to get into the action and comment away. With bad spelling and grammar along the way. Tons of it too. I wouldn't say mine is perfect. At least i passed my English with a respectable grade. What i don't understand is why Singaporeans have to get so worked up about it? IS IT YOUR COUNTRY? No, its just because you don't think. You just jump into the bandwagon once you see everyone doing the same thing. like queuing for food. you start queuing once you see so many people doing it and you're not even sure if the food is nice. IDIOTS.

the question is. why get so worked up about it? its all about perception. i learnt this in RP i think they did teach something good after all. We're not choosing their president. If you support him. GO AHEAD. But don't be all pissy and angry just because someone doesn't agree with you. Waste energy only.

If you want to get involved. Get involved in your own country first. Are you even voting for our president? I dont think they even have campaigns for presidents here in Singapore. Only when you want to vote for PAP or something. Maybe all we can do in this country is petition and vote for ruling parties. Thats why you guys are so anal about not being able to vote. And i bet you all dont even know who your members of parliment are.

Basically, I think there's nothing wrong for her to voice out. I would like to if I could. actually, I am. and I admit that I do get swayed by the media. Who doesn't? I support same sex marriages. Because i love Ellen and it was really nice to see her get married. And i would want to see my friends get married too. But since the ban is back on, I cannot ask my friends to go to California to get married or to protest. Buteven if I can't. Do I get all pissy shit with all the people who voted Yes On Prop 8? NO. Cause even if they get married in California, its not legalised in Singapore. We can't even have same sex sex in this country. So why bother about presidents in other countries? I dont see you morning for the Princess of Thailand. You guys get angry for no reason. You all dont think. Maybe thats why, people dont take you seriously. I know I dont.

IT NOT MY FUCKING FAULT IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THAT.
BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T LOWER YOUR FUCKING PRIDE FOR HER.

i guess we're all nothing to you now uh.

if its not what you're made of.
you're no what i'm looking for.
you were willing.
but unable to give me anymore.

and you'll never be sorry.

you say things that hurt so bad. but what you dont know is that the words you dont say, hurt even more. because its there. so evidently there. the problem is still there as well. i look into you eyes, you want more. and all i want is for you to be here. and all you want is for me to follow you to wherever you are. you're the one person i keep hidden becuase there are just too many bad memories where you are involved. but i still love you. and now you want me to sacrifice everything to be with you? i cannot do that. you're getting selfish. we agreed on this. take it or leave it.

moodkiller.

i just want to snuggle up with someone. hoping that tomorrow will be a perfect day. but it wont be becuause period is about to arrive. i can feel it. haha. breakouts and fatigue and URGH. period cramps are the most hated part.

i dont understand how my mood changed like that.

i gave in to you. because i wanted to. i compormised. because like what i told him, i dont want to let this opportunity to pass by me and i havent even had a chance to glimpse at it. i dont take you money nor your gifts. because i want you to know that this love isnt materialistic. and i'm independent. thats the way my mother brought me up. i dont deserve gifts if i didnt earn them. and i dont want it. i'm not going to give up everything for you just becuase you're taking fucking advantage.

why can't things go back to the way they were?

dont hate me for it.
you probably forgot the reason why anyway.

i love how pasti is s random during classes.
and how she makes me laugh over nothing & everything.
its funny as to how christian looks so blur when we're clearly laughing at him.

im damn sleepy now. restless too.

p.s: i love how you send me silly messages.

perks of a new camera. thats the right way of blogging. HAHA.


the only thing i love about christmas thats coming way too soon is that starbucks cups are pretty and many cafes come out with their once a year cakes that are so heavenly. and one thing about christmas eve that i love the most will be the potato salad that my godmother makes every single year. i'll always bring a huge portion of it back home. and christmas eve always comes with turkey and roast beef. meatballs. and wonderful company. these are the only times when family actually feels like family. its a wonder how family is a total of about thirty people. only get to meet once or twice a year. and during those meetings, they're just so close. and they contact for the rest of the year. i bet all my aunts dont have my number. oh well.
and i would remember christmas that we'll all have a hearty meal. and we'll all go to church for midnight mass. sit together as a family. and when mass is over, we'll all gather and mingle outside. rushing to wish everyone merry christmas. take so many pictures that you actually go blind. gifts were exchanged. supper was until the late night where we all dont need to go home. only leaving the house in the dead of the night. or early morning. those were the most wonderful days of christmas. those were the times i was so excited for christmas.
i guess im feeling the christmas spirit now.

GUESS WHAT? I FUCKING SAW ZAC EFFORN AND ASHLEY TISDALE AND HANNAH MONTANA!

and the secret pillow thing. you tell hannah montana your secrets, which is your pillow and she can keep them for you. haha. i dont believe in this.

i havent bought a comic book in the longest time. so i went to look for one. and i found the one that i really like. and for the first time, i made a huge ass mistake. i didnt check my book before i bought it. and you should know how much i love my comics. and now i feel upset and stupid.

LOOK AT THE FUCKING CORNER!
ANGRY.

by the way. i love going to school with this woman.

she'll kill me for this.

take it, and go.

i have a new hobby, asking clarie to come home in a middle of a business trip.

HAHA.

so many things i want to get.
lets just start with the cheaper ones alright?


coach multi star landyard.
for my pretty new camera.


and this is what im going to keep it in.
HAHA.


JANE, I WANT THIS ONE.


and now i want to bling my camera.
time to go some ulu pandan street to get them so that i can make it all pretty.
HAHA.

I AM SO HAPPY. THATS WHY MY WORDS ARE IN COLOURS!

THANK YOU MUMMY!
and thank you claire. for letting me have your spare car even though i can't drive. its alright. soon, i'll have the mini cooper in my hands.
and btw, iloveyou.


now its time to soak in the tub((:

she told amanda;

there's a differnt kind of love.
one that will make you better than who you are.
and not less of what you are.
and its not impossible to find that love.

if only.



i am never going to watch another nicholas sparks movie.

i am having a horrible writers block. i've been staring at the laptop for about 3 hours and i've only come up with three lines. i can't seem to think of anything romantic to write. i think my chapter 5 is going to be a crappy one.

its has been 45 mins and i havent done anything, i'm way too sleepy and i think that hwen i watch the movie with my mum tonight. im going to sleep. haruna isn't letting me into the conversation. im sad.

think of happier thing now nessa.

i believe you, i believe.

i am officially going to fail this semester. but msc breakfast was good, no?

hearing your voice even when i'm asleep. it must mean something.

make the strings talk with your fingertips.

I AM SO HUGE NOW. I LOOK LIKE IM 10909849857943 MONTHS PREGNANT. HAHA. TOO MUCH FOOD BUT EVEN MORE FUN.

i love you guys so much. you guys are everything to me.

just one tiny mistake.
i'm not going to let it put me down.

im officially old.

19 mins to birthday even though i was born in the afternoon. but who's counting?

so its sakura with some of my closest friends. and i have to say. it was something that i'll remember for a long time to come. it doesnt matter if some people have the cheek to be late. like, 40mins late. i had to wait with CS and Praveena. TSK. but its alright. we lasted in sakura longer than we lasted in seoul garden. and no fights with waiteresses. HAHA.
i tried to firce Haruna to eat sushi. but she was so scared and she didn't want to try anything uncooked. and Nasri kept giving me funny looks to hint something to me. NOT TAKING THE HINT. and Sarah was pretty with the super duper long eyelashes. Shakthee was still hot. so its okay.
today made me forget about things i didn't want to remember. being in the company of friends its the best thing EVER.

13 more mins to birthday. i'm watching cartoons and reading comics and happily counting down. i'm waiting for CS to upload the pictures. i'm waiting for Nasri to get home so that i have more pictures.

did i tell you that i hate it that my phone's time is five mins wayyy too fast? i keep thinking its the wrong time. haha. and its difficult to clear fresh make up. i swear i'm having breakouts. i think i'm going to look like a pineapple. YUCKS. i'm never going to take pictures in the dressing again.

chapter 333 is out! you all realised that i'm just typing a whole load of stuff that totally irrelevant cause i'm waiting for pictures right? i swear i'm going to kill the comic guy cuase he always leaves me with a cliffhanger. DAMNIT.

6 more mins. and i wish i was sleeping.

mass convos going on just about now, i haven't changed. i havent washed my face. but i have the sweetest friends who are counting down with me on MSN. wait. you're making me feel old now. )):

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE PICTURES? its 2 more mins by the way.

nasri arieyanto says:
we love you
and your ass
and your boobs
and all that
so yes

mirrorboy says gossip girl! says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NESS!
Death, the last sleep? NOO... The final awakening... says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NESSA BABY...
nasri arieyanto says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NESSA!
wah chibai cs
«º«hå®üñ仺» says:
happy birthday nessa

Death, the last sleep? NOO... The final awakening... says:
haha....
nasri arieyanto says:
fucker must have copy paste thats why fastest
ASSHOLE
mirrorboy says gossip girl! says:
what copy paste
nasri arieyanto says:
*mutters "cheater bug"
mirrorboy says gossip girl! says:
prepare before hand
lol
nasri arieyanto says:
*sulk under table
«º«hå®üñ仺» says:
happy birthday to nessa, happy birthday!!

thankings to be the first ones to wish me.but i'm still waitng for pictures. haha.and sean just wished me too. and my bestfriend too! and sherilyn too! MY BESTFRIEND IS OFFICIALLY MEAN. and he's desperate for a girlfriend? if you're looking for a boyfriend who is black and hairy and who pukes at sea all the time. LOOK FOR HIM. want his number? get it from me((:

[b] 'SaRAh -SARAHMEANSPRINCESS@BLOGSPOT.[/b] says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NESSA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

my mother is at st james. i dont know what for. and i'm stuck all alone at home. )): CS's camera is corrupted. i dont know whats wrong with it. so we dont put in the group pictures just yet. maybe tomorrow. hopefully. )): Rosey just wished me too. haha. so did he. someone who didn't even have the decency to call. thank god my phone is on silent. if not i sure die one. noise pollution. haha.

i'm getting restless now.


gluttony.




lust.


gossip.


sodomy!


little india? LOL.

candid pictures ahead.

WAH LAU. DAMN FAT AH.


miss pretty eyelashes.

SALSA LESSONS.


last picture of this really long post.


NASRI.
HANDSOME SEY!
lantern party ah!

i took me one and a half hours to do this post.
omg.

these few days are going to pass by really quickly.
jared just called and asked me if it was today.
no my dear. not today.

sakura later. and i cant wait.
im going to pamper myself tmr and i hope dinner with family will be all fun.
chomp chomp on sunday with friends i havent seen in the longest time.

and i dont care if you remember or not.

and i cant wait for next week.

i wanna be played,
like a sweet guitar.
played like slow jam in the dark.

The plan
Was to let me down gently
I know
The game
Was to call it temporary

Boy be carefull what you wish for
Cause you might get that and so much more
I won't shed a tear
If you don't want me
Boy I'll give you

Space
In the closet where my clothes should be
In that empty bed without me
Now I'm walking out the front door
You got exactly what you asked for
Space
In your phone where it said my name
Where I tore my picture out your frame
And I will be around
When you figure out
You got exactly what you asked for
Space

Now wait
This ain't no way to be treated
Mmm
Mistake
You can't have your cake and eat it
Na Na Na
Cause any real man would up and leave
But I guess thats more than you can be
Let me help you out
I'ma leave right now
Boy you got your space

Space
In the closet where my clothes should be
In that empty bed without me
Now I'm walking out the front door
You got exactly what you asked for
Space
In your phone where it said my name
Where I tore my picture out your frame
And I will be around
When you figure out
You got exactly what you asked for
Space

Where my kiss should be
In your arms where they used to be holding me
In your car
On the passenger side
There's an empty seat
Where I used to ride
Space in your mind when you think of me
Cause I'ma bout to be
A memory
Now you've got your space

I'll give you your space
You got your space
You got exactly what you asked for
Ooh baby
I'm so gone


you got it now.
You got me saying bye baby

i'm

SLEEPY.
TIRED.
RESTLESS.
FUCKED.

kthxbye.

so just let me say this.
i'm not blaming you for being selfish.
because its what you need out of someone and i can't change that no matter how hard i try.
i'm just sorry that we had to let his go by.
let it slip away.
i know that you're torn up about this and i'm not going to force you.
i hope you know what you mean to me.
i may never be there, but my heart will always be with you.
i'm sick of seeing you cry for someone who doesn't appreciate you one bit.
call me racist or what ever, i just dont like his type of people.
bastards.
i know you wont accept my gifts because they are not what you want.
even more so, they are not what you need.
i wont lie.
especially to you.
i love you.

its been three years.
i hope you're still holding up.



xoxo;
CLAIRE.

Okay, so this is going to be a really long and overdue post. With pictures that this blog hardly sees. Simply because I hardly upload pictures here. And because I don’t have a camera. But that’s about to change. Because my mummy is getting my one for my birthday.
So Monday, I went to Vivo to meet Christie. We were supposed to watch a movie but we couldn’t decide on one. Thought of watching HSM3 but she watched it already. Anyway, I randomly called Sheryl and woke her up so we could all have lunch together which was Kim Gary. Supper yummy and I was so full by the time everything ended. And we went to try on clothes at Forever21. But all the outfits were too big or the last piece.


So we went to Topshop and saw the Serena dress! But it was in blue. The green one that really looked like the one Serena wore was on sale, but we were all too broke to get them.


The recycled Christmas three of VivoCity. But the Christmas carriage was so cute. It was so CInderella!





Sheryl, Vanessa, Christie.


Jane and Danielle.

Christmas is coming soon! And somehow, I'm not so excited for this coming one. Maybe because I have not been preparing for it.

Sakura is tomorrow! And the day after is Birthday! WHOOOOOO!

I might be meeting him on Saturday. But I can't wait for next week too!

Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!Sakura tomorrow!

I CANNOT WAIT!